Wedding Invitation Etiquette FAQs

With venues to decide upon, dresses to buy, rehearsals to go through and caterers to book, organising a wedding is certainly no easy task. However, whilst dealing with the really big things is of course vital, you mustn’t forget about other aspects which can be every bit as important. Such as your invitations, for example.

Your wedding invitation cards are one of the most important elements of your big day as they let your guests know where and when you and your partner are going to be tying the knot. Indeed, your wedding will be nowhere near as much fun if you don’t have your nearest and dearest family members and friends there to share it with you!

Like most important events, there is a certain amount of etiquette involved with wedding invitations. And, whilst your Mum (or a wedding planner if you want to go down that route) may be able to give you a better idea of what is and isn’t deemed to be ‘acceptable’, you may well find that you'll still have a few questions which need answering. With this in mind, we here at Dotty about Paper thought we would share some of our experience and furnish you with answers to some of the most frequently asked questions about wedding invitation etiquette.

The best time to send out wedding invitations is six to eight weeks before the wedding. This provides guests with enough time to clear their schedules and make any necessary travel arrangements.

If you are getting married abroad, however, you will need to send out invitations earlier — three months before the big day is a good benchmark. If you are planning to send save-the-date cards, these are best sent around six to eight months in advance.

The deadline for RSVPs should be no later than two to three weeks before the wedding. This gives you enough time to confirm final numbers with your caterer (usually a week before) and to finalise your seating plan.

If guests miss your RSVP deadline, don’t be afraid to follow up with a quick phone call or message to get a definite ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

While it’s a generous gesture to extend a ‘plus-one’ to all your guests, it’s not always practical, especially if you’re hosting a small or intimate wedding. If a guest isn’t married or in a committed relationship, it is perfectly acceptable to omit the plus-one.

Most guests understand that if their invitation doesn’t include “and Guest” (or the name of a partner), then the invitation is intended for them alone.

Yes, if you are inviting some people only to the evening reception, it is best to send separate invitations. This avoids confusion and makes it clear to guests which part of the wedding they are invited to. Day invitations typically include the ceremony, wedding breakfast, and evening reception details, while evening invitations just include the later celebrations.

Traditionally, if the bride’s parents are hosting, the wording may begin with:

“Mr and Mrs John Smith request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter...”

If the couple are hosting themselves, you can keep things modern and simple:

“Together with their families, Emma and James invite you to celebrate their marriage...”

The key is to choose wording that reflects the style of your wedding and your relationship.

Your main wedding invitation should remain clear and focused on the essential details: who, where, and when. However, it’s perfectly acceptable — and often very helpful — to include additional information cards.  These can cover:

• Directions to the venue

• Accommodation suggestions

• Dress code

• Menu choices

• Gift list details

This keeps the main wedding invitation elegant and uncluttered, while still giving guests everything they need.

It’s easy to underestimate how long the process takes. Allow at least three months before you plan to post them. This gives you plenty of time for designing, ordering samples if needed, checking proofs, and allowing for delivery. If you’re having invitations made bespoke, you may need even longer.

• Forgetting to include RSVP details — always add an RSVP card or clear contact details.
• Being vague on timings — be precise about start times and clarify if evening-only guests should arrive later.
• Leaving ordering too late — this creates unnecessary stress.
• Overcomplicating wording — keep it polite, clear, and easy to read.

Your wedding invitations are the first glimpse your guests will have of your wedding, so treat them as an important part of your planning. With good etiquette and a little organisation, you can set the tone for a celebration that’s both thoughtful and unforgettable.

For more advice and inspiration, explore the full range of wedding invitations available at Dotty about Paper.