Our Undercover Reporter's take on 'The Brangelina Saga'

With Brad & Ange's forthcoming nuptials supposedly imminent, I would love to be a fly on the wall! But first, I'd need to have a disguise in order to secure the coveted wedding photograph of the year... Realistically (and being an undercover reporter) I would have to blend in with the crowds - not my usual extrovert attire, but something that won't give anyone a second thought. Hmmmmm a female clergy perhaps? My cassock could be adapted with pockets to conceal a camera or two, some recording equipment, pens and even a notebook. Someone from the church possibly wouldn't get a second look. I could mingle and eavesdrop, taking photographs as and when the opportunity presented itself. Everyone will be saying "ah poor Jen", but I would imaging she is somewhere exotic thousands of miles away with her latest beau! After all these years I'm sure she is over Brad and secretly thinks "just get on with it you silly pair of show offs!" Since Brad met Ange it has been a public circus with their colourful family, and I wouldn't mind betting Jen is thinking she had a lucky escape. The on/off relationship has become tiresome to anybody who could be bothered to follow their news. Will they get married? Won't they tie the knot? This is the question on many lips who can be bothered to hear their latest news. My theory (for what it's worth)... The nuptials will be in the middle of the jungle with tribesmen chanting around them whilst they say their vows on a high wooden makeshift platform. Angelina would be wearing a see-through wedding dress showing off her svelte figure, and Brad would possibly wear a full feathered headdress with all of their children dressed in tribal costumes taking their duties as bridesmaids & pageboys seriously. Or maybe not... A more traditional wedding day perhaps? Of course it would have to outdo any other celebrity wedding that has ever been held. Perhaps they are trying to fool everyone by letting us think that their wedding day will be held at their Chateaux? My theory is Vegas! It could be the perfect location - and I could be a little more daring and have a twinkly clergy attire! Anybody who is anybody will be invited to this grand affair, and posing as a woman of the cloth for the day is possibly one of my better ideas. Please God (no pun intended!) don't let anyone ask me anything religious! I could end up being frog marched outa there before Brad & Ange even arrive. Who knows whether it's going ahead. Will they, won't they? Where and when? But I have my outfit hanging up ready for the BIG day just in case my invite should arrive...