Who Should You Invite to Your Wedding? Guest List Guide

So, you’ve started your wedding guest list, but it’s already getting out of hand! Whether you’re planning an intimate gathering or a grand celebration, deciding who makes the cut can be one of the trickiest parts of wedding planning. Who should you really invite — old friends, work colleagues, your cousin you only see once a year?

Don’t worry, we’re here to help you make those all-important decisions and keep your guest list (and your stress levels) under control.

Inviting family is usually the first — and sometimes the most difficult — part of the process. It’s easy for things to become complicated quickly, especially if you have a large extended family.

Many wedding experts suggest that if you invite one cousin, it’s polite to invite them all, and the same goes for aunties, uncles, and grandparents. However, that’s not a strict rule. At the end of the day, it’s your wedding — and you should only invite the people you truly want to share it with.

If there are family members you rarely speak to or feel uncomfortable around, it’s absolutely fine to leave them off the list. Focus on those who will make your day more special, not more stressful.

Friends are often easier to decide on — but not always! Of course, your closest friends and members of the wedding party will be top of the list. But beyond that, things can get a little fuzzy.

Should you invite a friend you haven’t seen in years? Your old uni mate? A former colleague? Ultimately, this comes down to the relationship you have now, not what it once was.

A good rule of thumb: if you wouldn’t go out for lunch or coffee with them one-on-one, they probably don’t need to be at your wedding.

Also, make sure you and your partner invite a fairly balanced number of guests each. This helps ensure that neither of you feels left out or overshadowed when it comes to your own guest list.

Before you get too deep into planning, you’ll need to decide whether you want children to attend your wedding. It might feel like a minor detail now, but it can make a big difference later — both to your budget and the atmosphere on the day.

There are a few ways to handle this:

• Adults-only wedding: This is perfectly acceptable, but make sure it’s clearly stated on your invitations. For example, you could write “Adult reception to follow” or “We kindly request no children at our wedding.”

• All children welcome: This is lovely if your families have lots of little ones, but bear in mind that extra guests mean higher catering costs and more potential noise during speeches or the ceremony.

• Wedding party children only: A popular middle ground is to invite only the children who have a role in the wedding, such as flower girls, page boys, or ring bearers.

Whichever option you choose, consistency is key. Allowing some guests to bring their children but not others can lead to misunderstandings.

Plus ones can be another grey area, especially if you’re working within a set budget or a small venue. The general rule of thumb is simple — if your guest is married, engaged, or in a long-term relationship, it’s polite to invite their partner too.

However, if someone is single, casually dating, or only just seeing someone new, there’s no obligation to offer a plus one. Most guests understand that weddings are expensive and seating is limited.

To avoid confusion, make sure you address the invitation clearly. For example, “Miss Sarah Green” rather than “Sarah Green and Guest” makes it obvious who’s invited.

This one can cause a lot of guilt for couples putting together their list. It’s natural to want to return the favour if someone invited you to their wedding — but it’s not always necessary.

If their wedding was several years ago, or your relationship has since changed, you shouldn’t feel obliged to invite them just for the sake of it. Weddings should be filled with the people you care about most right now, not out of a sense of duty.

That said, if you attended a close friend’s wedding recently, it’s a kind and thoughtful gesture to include them in yours — even if only for the evening celebration.

If your wedding guest list is becoming too long for the day, but you don’t want anyone to feel left out, your evening reception can be a great compromise.

Inviting additional guests just for the evening means you can include extended family, distant friends, or colleagues without dramatically increasing your catering bill. It also gives you a chance to celebrate with more people once the formalities are out of the way.

Make sure your wedding evening invitations clearly state the start time of the reception, and consider adding a note about food if you’re serving a buffet or light bites rather than a full meal.

Still finding it difficult to cut down your list? Here are a few tried-and-tested tips:

1. Start with your must-haves. List your immediate family, closest friends, and bridal party first — these are your non-negotiables.

2. Decide on your guest limit. Talk to your venue about capacity and set a hard number. Stick to it!

3. Create tiers. Tier 1 guests are essential; Tier 2 guests can be added if space allows.

4. Don’t feel pressured. This is your special day — not a family reunion or office party.

At Dotty About Paper, we know that your wedding stationery plays a huge part in making your day feel beautiful, organised, and uniquely you. From personalised wedding invitations to evening invites, save the dates, and thank you cards, we have everything you need to announce your celebration in style.

Browse our stunning collections today and make your guest list decisions that little bit easier!